Why the Heck Am I Even Here?

Updated: May 4

Genuine love not only respects the individuality of the other but actually cultivates it, even at the risk of separation or loss. The ultimate goal of life remains the spiritual growth of the individual, the solitary journey to peaks that can be climbed only alone. - M. Scott Peck

You hear the call, the whisper toward life. An undeniable pull toward freedom, toward full self-expression, toward soaring. You have heard this call your whole life. You may have searched for answers to it in books, movies, literature, even other people. But, despite your restlessness, despite your questions, despite your efforts, you still have no idea what to do about it.

You are drawn to others who appear to be fulfilling their purposes. Surely they will help you find yours? Surely they have the answer? Somehow your purpose has become living for them. You seem to be waiting for your own life to begin.

You know that you are not even coming close to fulfilling your potential. You have numbed yourself and you feel anxious and depressed. You are stuck. You are living a life of quiet desperation.

The books related to finding your purpose in life may fill your shelves: The Purpose Driven Life, Work Worth Doing, Awaken the Giant Within, The Greatest You.... But none of them has truly answered your question. They help you use your resources better, implement better time management, or try delegating, or engage more self-discipline, but to what aim? More money? More assets? More accumulation? Or maybe your books are about meeting the right person, Love in 90 Days, Love After Heartbreak, Fuck Him!, Getting the Love You Want; that special person who will finally, finally love you.

Our culture implies that your purpose in life will provide you with everything you need, will give you true and lasting satisfaction, and will, ideally, improve the lives of others. You see others living a purpose: motherhood, company executive, devoted spouse, church volunteer, that seems to give them all of these things.

Why can you not find yours?

What if your purpose in life is not to do anything? What if your purpose has nothing to do with accomplishment? Nothing to do with your job? Nothing to do with legacy? Nothing to do with labels? Nothing to do with following the rules? Nothing to do with fulfilling others’ expectations? Nothing to do with serving others?

What if your purpose is about being? Being who you truly are. Being who you were born to be. Fulfilling your potential, with no throttles.

Being fully alive.

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It took me three years to realize that I am a fallen creature. I have been struggling and groping my way back to the Light. Here are a few things that I have learned along the way....

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