I Will Myself to Get Rid of My Self Will!

When you have gotten to the point that you realize how incredibly bad you really are, how little control you really have over bad thoughts, or how much effort it takes to control bad thoughts and bad behavior, something inside you demands more.

It used to be good enough to not sleep around, to not cheat or steal, to not lie, to be nice to people and not curse out other drivers. Once you’ve gotten a glimpse of what life looks like when God is in control of you, the bar of proper behavior rises from “good enough” to “perfect.” You see how much better God handles other people, situations, conversations, decisions, than you do. You want him to control everything.

Some Christians are fine with giving up this control to God little bits at a time. First, I'll let God control conversations with my mom. Next month I will let God control the future of my career. Next year I will let God control the way I interact with my spouse about money. This is all good stuff. This is all moving away from self and toward God. Every bit that you let him have will be far better, with positive and permanent results, than anything you could have done on your own.

My question is, why can we not give to him everything? All of the time? If a little bit more of God’s control brings only goodness into our life, why would we not let him have all of it?

The answer to this question is, we can’t. The self will never destroy itself. The will will never choose anything other than the will. But…we are not out of options!

This kind of life, where God is in control of everything, all the time, is being One with Jesus Christ. We need Jesus dwelling within us in order to live this way. There is nothing under our own power that will allow Jesus to displace our will.

Then how do we accomplish this? Only Jesus can subjugate our will. We cannot. It must be He who sends his Spirit to us (Murray, 2015). But how does this happen if we cannot allow it?

We must ask for it! We must ask Jesus to become One with us. We must ask Him to subjugate our will, to take us over. How do we do this? According to Andrew Murray in Experiencing the Holy Spirit, it takes the following steps:

  • Believe that Jesus wants to show you compassion, forgiveness, mercy, acceptance, and kindness

  • Admit that you do not feel these things

  • Despair of your impotence, admit that it must be a gift

  • Abandon and forsake all that you want in life and how you plan to get it

  • Let Jesus be the only thing you seek

  • Express your consent openly

  • Believe and expect that He will come to you

  • God will put aside, consume in the fire, anything that hinders the gift

  • Wait in faith

I'll let you know when I'm successful.

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It took me three years to realize that I am a fallen creature. I have been struggling and groping my way back to the Light. Here are a few things that I have learned along the way....

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