I Am A Creator!

I am house sitting in a beautiful home in Okemos, Michigan. The guest room where I am staying lacks a mirror. I’m a girl. I do girly things like makeup and hair. I check my outfit before I leave the room. I need a mirror.

Before I put a $10 mirror on my shopping list, I decided to dig into the spacious guest closet on the off chance that there might be one stashed in there. Voila! I was right. There was a mirror in there, and a nice-sized one, too. I dragged it out and leaned it against the closet door.

“I am a Creator!” was written on it, with three underlines under the word “Creator.”

My heart soared; this was a woman who knows a bit of Truth deep down. She is in touch with the spiritual world enough to know that she can create anything she wishes.

And then my heart sank. For I knew what it would take for her to get to her creative nature.

She is recently married to a fairly wealthy man. He is proud of his beautiful, historic home and its grounds, which he keeps immaculately tidy. He is very friendly, all smiles and questions, but I got the distinct feeling of, “Don’t mess up this house and don’t piss me off.”

They have a cat and no children. Wedding photos litter the house. Her wedding vows to him are framed on the living room table. She vows, among other things, to “help him fulfill his purpose.” It is clear that she loves him beyond distraction.

She doesn’t realize that he is her biggest obstacle to creating.

In Matthew 19:24, Jesus says that, “… it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” There is a reason for this.

Wealthy people don’t get that way by accident. Most are what I call controllers. A controller does not like to feel sadness, anger, or fear. No one does, really. But a controller really doesn’t like to feel these things. When he begins to feel any of these negative emotions, he changes his environment - not himself - to stop them.

The problem with this strategy is that his environment includes other people.

He will keep this woman, with the beautiful soul, physically busy keeping his environment tidy, predictable, and safe. She is already conforming to his standards; her house sitting instruction book was twenty-six pages long and had an index.

He will keep her emotionally busy mitigating his negative emotions. She apologized to me for leaving on their trip late.

His control of her will keep her spirit at a standstill for as long as they are together. She will not have the time or the energy to investigate who she really is, much less what it is that she would like to create. She will create nothing but schedules, routines, and complicated flax seed smoothies until one of them dies or they separate. The mirror was in a closet for a reason.

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It took me three years to realize that I am a fallen creature. I have been struggling and groping my way back to the Light. Here are a few things that I have learned along the way....

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